Rome was not built in a day, but that means little to addicts and alcoholics who are regaining trust slower than they would like. At our Orange County drug rehab, we are never surprised when our clients get upset that friends and family are reluctant to let bygones be bygones.
As addicts and alcoholics, it is our nature to want things the way we want them—and preferably yesterday, if you could, please. We have sincere intentions and desires to change our ways early in our recovery, but this is a song and dance that everyone has heard countless times before. What assurances do they have that this time things will be different from the multitude of times before?
Is Regaining Trust Possible?
Even though they usually want to believe us, we have trampled their hopes so many times that any lack of suspicion would be absolute madness on their part.
From the addict or alcoholic’s perspective, though, they do not get it. They have made all these sacrifices to get treatment with promises that their lives would be better. So why are not things improving? If anything, why does life suddenly seem so much worse?
It seems that way because of that instant gratification that we have become so used to. We have to get used to it. There just is not any other way around it, and for addicts and alcoholics, that is a very uncomfortable and very unpleasant feeling—but one that we must get used to.
We do not lie to our clients. Friends and family usually come around, but it takes awhile. Some come around quicker than others, but some can take a very long time, and in some cases, the bridges simply are not rebuilt. What recovery has to offer, though, is a way to come to terms with that.
No, there are no more quick fixes. We have to do things the way they are supposed to be done, and that takes time. It is why so many of us start so gung-ho on the first- through third-steps, but begin to falter—or just simply jump ship altogether—when it comes to do the real work on the fourth step.
For those who are truly willing to go to any lengths to stay clean and sober, though, a new way of life beyond your wildest dreams awaits. So long as we do not get in our own way, we have got a chance—we just have to remain willing and teachable.